Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
last night I used snow as a chaser
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
