bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
