Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are two peas in an std pod
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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