I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
