bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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