Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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