And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
