No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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