i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
