i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
