I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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