ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The uberlube is also flammable
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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