Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
