im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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