Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
