How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
