just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
