Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i jhust puked up my retainher.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
