i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
