i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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