He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
