OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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