I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
