While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
