Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
