so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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