Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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