you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
