it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
