so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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