so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
