remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
