I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
