I must be too annoying 4 u.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
