I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
