Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
pray to the hookup gods
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
