My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
