I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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