fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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