All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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