hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
