My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
