idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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