I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
worst night to have a conscience
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
