Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
