If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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