Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
