3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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