Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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