I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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